It’s just after midnight and I can’t stop staring at the Amazon page with my book on it. I’ve been worried about this day, excited, yes, but mostly worried. My writing, this is my life, my heart. It’s the one place I have that is all mine. Throughout my life I have had many, many things taken from me. Things that were important. Things it broke my heart to lose. But in the end, they were just things. Not this. Everything I write is a piece of me and for the longest time I felt that if I allowed it to go out into the world others could tear it down or make it something I didn’t want anymore. I worried nasty comments, bad reviews, or just disregard would turn my solace into a painful place I wouldn’t want to be in anymore and that terrified me because if I lost this, I lost the one constant peaceful place I could go when everywhere I turned in the real world I was cut open by sharp edges.
In truth, it can’t be taken only given away and I refuse.
So on this day, my book has been released into this world. Maybe people will hate it. Maybe they will love it. Maybe no one will even know it exists, but regardless of any of that I am proud of myself.
Be kind to yourselves and thanks for listening,